Sporty Ol’ Stanley: New Balls Please
Ah, that time of year is here. Scoffing strawberries and quaffing Pimms. Watching people in Union Jack coats as their heads sway to and fro and to and fro and to and fro and to and fro. That’s right: it’s time for Wimbledon and another failed attempt at Britannia ruling all. I will be giving a day-by-day rundown of what has gone on and what is to come so let’s tighten those strings and bounce those balls* because here we go:
Day one is gone already and the tennis Android model 2.1 Djockovic has unsurprisingly notched up his first round win. Android model 2.0 Federer has also dispensed with his opponent easily and everything rolls on in the men’s events as expected. Possibly the only surprise on that side of the play was sixth seed Berdych going out in straight sets. But even that isn’t a big shock as he wasn’t gonna win the tournament anyway. Even he knew it.
When it came to the ladies side though, we were in for a treat. Of course Sharapova is through. But it wouldn’t be Wimbledon without a shock a day and unfortunately for Venus Williams she was the victim, going out 6-1 6-3 to one of the Russian players from Euro 2012. This part may not be true but it was definitely a Russian. I would say Venus hasn’t hated Russians this much since going to see Air Force One.
Today should hold more of the same. There’ll be another Williams on court as Serena begins her quest for her fifth Wimbledon title. Her opponent, Czech-born Barbora Strycova, should be easily dispatched by Williams and will be CZECHing out of her hotel Wednesday morning. See what I did? Get the joke? Goodness. Easy dispatches should also be carried out by Rafael Nadal, Caroline Wozniacki and David Ferrer whereas someone who could have difficulty is Andy Murray.
Obviously, the pressure is on him here more than anywhere else and you can’t help but feel bad for him as he never asked for any of it. He just wants to play and win tennis matches but he also happens to be the closest thing to an English person that the BBC and British viewing public can find. So when he saw his first round draw against Nikolai Davydenko he must have been slightly worried. A former World number three he is not going to be put off by Murray’s little back injuries that pop up whenever he’s missing the odd point here and there, and his hissy fits when a shot doesn’t go his way. Instead, he will play on regardless and try to wear Murray down. Still, you have to feel Murray will be the stronger and get through in at most four sets. For me what will be a much better match today will be the showdown between Tsonga and Hewitt. Both firm crowd favourites here at SW12 no matter what the outcome it will be an entertaining few hours.
Game of the day: Tsonga V Hewitt. Court 1
Loud Decibel Grunt of the day: Serena Williams
Potential Murray Injury of the day: Lower back spasms
Mentions of Murray Mound/Henman Hill on BBC: 6 million
* I will be using as many tennis references as possible in all of these updates