Ramp It Up/Stamp It Down: Friday, April 19th
Ramp It Up!
Look obviously, obviously, it takes a swipe at a whole subset of internet user, but we just can’t help being entertained by the wee page that could. Founded off the back of what can only be someone clever noticing that all attention-seeking statuses on Facebook are followed by a comment saying ‘hope you’re okay hun’, it follows the life of a fictional female and her ‘prince’ and ‘princess’ kids Tyrone and Rhianna, her love of take aways and of course her regular claim that the ‘karma chameleon’ is on his way for ‘users n abusers’. It’s only been on the go a month and already has an adoring public of 35k likes. We’re jealous as fuck.
Stamp It Down!
Margaret Thatcher. The Boston Marathon. Any time that there is any international news event, news feeds go cray cray with everyone offering their opinion, their outrage, their solidarity, their sadness, their joy. People start acting like they, personally, are a media outlet. “Reports reaching me now that Thatcher blah, blah…”. Stop it! Stop it right now. The universe didn’t bestow an internet connection upon you so that you could playact at being Bryan Dobson. We remember the good old days when you had to really work at it to press your thoughts on people – ring them up using the old rotary dial phones, exhausting the fingers off yourself, or stomping ground as you walked six miles to the nearest neighbour to hold forth in their kitchen. Everything’s too easy these days.
What’s the story? Is it happening? Will the legal battle end in time? We’re getting worried here in Ramp HQ. Last year their publicity machine rolled into action on March 1st. This year we have heard not a peep. We keep on hoping but we’re slowly accepting reality. Poor Bentley’s been sitting eagerly by the door with a sleeping bag strapped to his back since February. Summer just won’t be summer without Stradbally. Kiss and make up, you guys.
RTÉ have announced that they’re cancelling RAW. Editor Sinéad will be in her mourning garb for the foreseeable. Fancy food shots. The bould Jojo. Dublin looking prettier than ever. House parties. Robberies. Ridin’. Cheffin’. Poor, poor Pavel. We can’t even cope with the idea of this not being on our screens anymore. Glenroe ran for seventeen decades and every episode was loosely based around havin’ a pint and balin’ some hay. Raw had actual storylines, attractive Irish people in it (shock!), and a massive viewership. If anything it’s a wonder it wasn’t chopped sooner – the state broadcaster just doesn’t like being onto a good thing. We are writing a strongly worded letter, we’ll tell you that much.