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Sure would you not have a small bit?

 

Ramp It Up/Stamp It Down: Friday, 8th of February

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Posted February 8, 2013 by Lisa McInerney in Ramp Specials

Ramp It Up!

Top Gear

Gossip bible Popbitch tell us that Top Gear has been filming in Uganda, and that Clarkson, May and the hamster dude were ‘nice, down to earth and drank a lot of expensive vodka’. Oh. We’re a little disappointed, frankly.

 

PoorMichelle.com

Achingly relevant to the important issues of our time is this new Tumblr dedicated to illustrating the hard-knock life of Destiny’s Child’s Michelle, featuring such incidents as ‘the time Tina Knowles made her wear a weave’ (pictured) and ‘the time she pointed in the wrong direction’. Never before have we seen such blatant victimisation. Won’t somebody think of the third wheels?

Taking no shit from Chris Brown

In a revelation that will shock precisely no one, it’s been discovered that Chris Brown has not completed the community service he was obliged to do after he mangled Rihanna’s face. The LA County District Attorney’s office has called foul on the records kept of his community service hours, finding that he was apparently picking up trash while on a private jet and ghosting his way through cleaning duties after hours in a children’s centre his mother was director of. Pull the other one, it’s got bells on.

 

Stamp It Down!

Beyoncé’s PR Team

Buzzfeed recently published a selection of photographs of Bey looking fierce at her Super Bowl performance. Like, actual fierce. Her PR team got in touch to request that Buzzfeed remove the unflattering photographs as they were unflattering, meaning that what was once a fun thread of fun photos has now blossomed into irrevocable proof that Bey is far too much in love with herself. Heard of the Streisand effect, lads?

Westboro Baptist Church

Two of its Phelpses escaped. Haw haw!

Incidentally, we wish Megan and Grace all the very best in their non-WBC future because we’re not the vile, hateful fuckers they are.

 

Ireland

A Taoiseach who wouldn’t apologise to the Magdalene slaves even though their incarceration was sanctioned by the government. A host of elected officials who can rush through legislation guaranteeing generations of debt, yet can’t manage to legislate for basic reproductive rights. We’re so ashamed.


About the Author

Lisa McInerney

Lisa’s soul is so damn sensitive, she has to invent and occupy parallel universes just to spread herself evenly. This is also known as being a frustrated novelist.

  • Will Fitzgerald

    So, so ashamed.

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