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On The Rampage: Fuck Off Christmas; Give Halloween A Chance

Posted October 10, 2012 by Dee Murphy in Ramp Specials
Halloween Vs Christmas

Did Christmas always start this early? In my childhood, in the days of Santy, I remember the build up only starting in mid-November. Now, there’s ads on TV, selection boxes in Tesco and every restaurant advertising their Christmas party nights as early as October. It could be possible that it is still a shorter build up for the smallies because they are so hyped up about Halloween first. But for the grown ups it’s too much, too soon.

Has anyone actually started their Christmas shopping, or even thought about making a list? I know I haven’t, nor has anyone I know. The Christmas shop has been up in Brown Thomas for weeks now. Surely there are people starting early though? Those super-organised folks who have all their shopping sorted eight weeks out and will be laughing at us manic fools running around the week or two before the event, like headless chickens, elbowing our way through the crowds. But do you know what? I like that. In fact, I relish the panic. I’ll have it all done in a day or two and won’t have to think about it again until the following year.

What I want to think about now is Halloween, which I find far superior to Christmas. Admit it lads, there’s a massive hype up to Christmas and when the day comes, you eat too much, you drink too much, you watch some films on TV that you’ve seen before… it’s a BORING day. I’d much rather put time into planning a Halloween costume. Admittedly, Halloween isn’t the same as it used to be, people’s ideas of scary costumes nowadays consist of dressing up like Lady Gaga, or a sexy something. Sexy isn’t scary ladies! Regardless, Halloween is never as boring as Christmas is.

If you stay at home on Halloween night, there are decent scary films on, if you go out on the town, there are loads of events on.  The build up to Halloween is much more relaxed as well. In fact, you can just ignore it entirely if you want. You can go to minimal effort if you want. Carve one pumpkin, or turnip, or whatever you find while strolling around doing your weekly shop with your blinders on, ignoring the Christmas stock.

The only thing you have to do it buy some jellies, or chocolate, whatever junk floats your boat really. Dressing up is optional; you can put in as much effort as you like. And no one will be offended when they didn’t get that present they really wanted. ‘Cos Halloween isn’t about material possessions, it’s about freaking the shit out of yourself so you can’t go to sleep without a shot of brandy to settle your nerves. And Christmas? It’s a season about panic. The only pro to the festive season is the January sales, where we will once again elbow our way through the crowds.

About the Author

Dee Murphy

I love cats, I love every kind of cat. I just want to hug all of them, but I can't, can't hug every cat.

  • http://www.lisamcinerney.com Lisa McInerney

    Hate Christmas? You’re doing it wrong.

    I love Christmas. All it takes to make it a brilliant holiday is some careful planning and a healthy dose of sticking to your guns, which is a helluva lot easier if you’re already living independently. Tell Mammy/Daddy you’ll come home for dinner, but you’re leaving in the evening. Meet buddies for pre-dinner drinks in someone’s house. Stay at home all day eating crisps in your pyjamas. Plan an alternative dinner menu and tell everyone they’ll eat it, or else. Whatever floats your boat, really.

    As regards the decorations in the shops already? Doesn’t bother me a bit; so long as they’re not playing carols in the supermarket, I can stave off the holiday spirit for a while longer. It’s handy to be able to buy a few bits and pieces in the run-up to something that’s incredibly expensive for the extravagant among us, or for people with small kids. Let them get their shopping in early and stop giving out about it. (I actually know someone who does her Christmas shopping all year ’round; more power to her. It’s not how I do it but who am I to tell her how to budget?) As for it being about material possessions, it is not. It’s about making people happy. Brilliant feeling.

    As for Halloween… since when was that a big deal? And even if you want to do the whole Americanisation-of-Samhain-thing – get dressed up with your mates, hit the town and/or pay people to haunt a house for you – how is Christmas actually halting your plans? Pfft. Halloween’s one bloody (pun intended) night. Christmas goes on for days. Christmas FTW.

    • http://twitter.com/powertara Tara Power

      Ooh, care to share some vegetarian Christmas meal recipes?

      • http://www.lisamcinerney.com Lisa McInerney

        I will admit to basically being really boring and eating Christmas dinner sans turkey and ham every year. I love roast parsnips far too much to get creative on Christmas Day. I have all these recipes for cool veggie galettes and stuff, but honestly, give me a HUGE plate of roast parsnips and spuds with thyme and I’m happy as a clam.

        • http://twitter.com/powertara Tara Power

          Same here but I NEED me that gravy!

          • http://www.lisamcinerney.com Lisa McInerney

            Ooh, I can have onion gravy, right? And cranberry sauce, even though I’ve nothing to put it on.

          • Will

            You could put cranberry sauce on my arm and I would eat it. Again though I see there would be a meat issue there for you Lisa. Ah well. Roast parsnips do make me happy also.

  • http://twitter.com/ElleEmSee Laura

    I hate Christmas up until someone gives me my Christmas dinner and then I fucking love it.
    Then again, 8 straight years of listening to Pluto howl a version of ‘Jingle Bells’ in a Disney Store would be enough to put anyone off Christmas.

    • http://www.lisamcinerney.com Lisa McInerney

      This is true. You’ve got mitigating circumstances coming out your ears, Laura.

  • http://twitter.com/powertara Tara Power

    I love both!! But I do agree that the ridiculously early Christmas displays and music (mostly the music) are nothing short of mentally abusive to retail staff. Having survived 6 Christmas periods in retail, I can honestly say that the Christmas hype in shops is SHAMEFUL.

  • Mairead

    Working in retail has ruined Christmas for me. Money money money.
    I’m happy to just be with friends and family.
    I would love it to be more like Thanksgiving.

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