On The Rampage: Fuck Off Christmas; Give Halloween A Chance
Did Christmas always start this early? In my childhood, in the days of Santy, I remember the build up only starting in mid-November. Now, there’s ads on TV, selection boxes in Tesco and every restaurant advertising their Christmas party nights as early as October. It could be possible that it is still a shorter build up for the smallies because they are so hyped up about Halloween first. But for the grown ups it’s too much, too soon.
Has anyone actually started their Christmas shopping, or even thought about making a list? I know I haven’t, nor has anyone I know. The Christmas shop has been up in Brown Thomas for weeks now. Surely there are people starting early though? Those super-organised folks who have all their shopping sorted eight weeks out and will be laughing at us manic fools running around the week or two before the event, like headless chickens, elbowing our way through the crowds. But do you know what? I like that. In fact, I relish the panic. I’ll have it all done in a day or two and won’t have to think about it again until the following year.
What I want to think about now is Halloween, which I find far superior to Christmas. Admit it lads, there’s a massive hype up to Christmas and when the day comes, you eat too much, you drink too much, you watch some films on TV that you’ve seen before… it’s a BORING day. I’d much rather put time into planning a Halloween costume. Admittedly, Halloween isn’t the same as it used to be, people’s ideas of scary costumes nowadays consist of dressing up like Lady Gaga, or a sexy something. Sexy isn’t scary ladies! Regardless, Halloween is never as boring as Christmas is.
If you stay at home on Halloween night, there are decent scary films on, if you go out on the town, there are loads of events on. The build up to Halloween is much more relaxed as well. In fact, you can just ignore it entirely if you want. You can go to minimal effort if you want. Carve one pumpkin, or turnip, or whatever you find while strolling around doing your weekly shop with your blinders on, ignoring the Christmas stock.
The only thing you have to do it buy some jellies, or chocolate, whatever junk floats your boat really. Dressing up is optional; you can put in as much effort as you like. And no one will be offended when they didn’t get that present they really wanted. ‘Cos Halloween isn’t about material possessions, it’s about freaking the shit out of yourself so you can’t go to sleep without a shot of brandy to settle your nerves. And Christmas? It’s a season about panic. The only pro to the festive season is the January sales, where we will once again elbow our way through the crowds.