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The Twitterati: 9 accounts you need to follow, like, right now

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Posted June 19, 2013 by Emma Kelly in Ramp Lists
twitter

Recently, the Twitterverse united in their fangirling over a new member that had joined the club. That newbie is the hope for 2016 and Bill’s ball and chain herself, Hillary Clinton, who has seriously stepped up her game with one of the best bios on Twitter: “Wife, mom, lawyer, women & kids advocate, FLOAR, FLOTUS, US Senator, SecState, author, dog owner, hair icon, pantsuit aficionado, glass ceiling cracker, TBD…”. Clinton hasn’t yet tweeted much, but it’s sure to be an account to follow. Here’s another few of Ramp’s picks that regularly churn out 140 characters worth of gold.

Example @example

Usually the Twitter accounts of musicians are used solely as plugging machines for their various singles and TV appearances. DJ Example is a lovely… example of a celeb who just likes to talk about the various things he encounters throughout the day. And the tweets are often pretty hilarious. Also, check out his wonderful system of grading movies out of 100 popcorns.

Sample Example: “You meet nice people. You think they’re decent. Then they order a pepperoni pizza with an egg in the middle. Friendship over.”

Irish Mammies @irishmammies

Many parody accounts border on eye-scratchingly awful, but Irish Mammies brightens up your day amongst the tweets from your mates saying “So bored, dunno what to do #fml #boredom”. It’s also nice to read because you can often forget it’s a parody and wonder when your mother joined Twitter.

Irish Mammies says:  “You got an awful roasting. Will I get you some Sudocrem?”

Nuhdeen Coyle @NuhdeenCoyleNow

Poor Nadine. Despite doing most of the vocal work in Girls Aloud, some ill-advised marketing with Tesco and a completely un-understandable accent made sure that Cheryl became the star. However, we can credit her with being the inspiration for one of the funniest and weirdest accounts on Twitter. This account puts across the thoughts of the mental Nuhdeen Coyle, all spelt phonetically for effect.

Nuhdeen Says: “Back un may day, 16 year olds had to hide their passports & claim they were 18 when auditionung. Kids today have ut so easay. #TheVoiceUK”

Caitlin Moran @caitlinmoran

Writer and Times columnist Caitlin Moran has over 400,000 followers at the time of writing, and after a look at her feed, it’s not hard to see why. Tweeting incessantly every day about every topic imaginable, from the size of Jimi Hendrix’s willy to marriage equality, Ms Moran is bitingly funny and seems like someone you’d really want to have a pint with.

Moar Moran: “No pop-star wears more sensible shoes than Taylor Swift. LOVE YOUR SHOES TAYLOR.”

Joey Barton @Joey7Barton

Joey Barton is no longer in the Premier League, his last appearance being at last year’s final match when he kicked Sergio Aguero. However, his memory lives on through his Twitter, where he quotes philosophers and Smiths lyrics in between outbursts against fans, politicans, and whoever else happens to be annoying him that day. Worth following just in case he explodes.

Angry Joey is angry: “Fuck off. Had to turn it off. Fucking idiots. Some shite on British TV.”

Not Tilda Swinton @nottildaswinton

Another parody account that is a thing of genius. Real-life actress Tilda Swinton is well-known for being a sort of female Bowie- ethereal, alien-like and a bit bonkers. This account tweets bizarre philosophical statements that you wouldn’t be surprised to hear Swinton saying while dressed in something made from tin foil.

Tilda. Tilda, Tilda: “The most delicious meal I’ve ever had? My first gasp of air upon emerging from the geode my father impregnated.”

Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt

Comedian Patton Oswalt improvised an entire plot for a Star Wars/Marvel universe crossover movie on an episode of Parks and Recreation. That’s reason enough to follow him.

Patton says: “My uncle from Arkansas asked if I wanted t’see “the purge” & I said yes & he showed me a big ol’ pot of porridge (*duck quack)”

Colm Tobin @colmtobin

One of the best Irish Twitter accounts to follow. As stated in his bio, this is not poet and novelist Colm Tóibín, but the comedian and writer on The Mario Rosenstock Show, Colm TOBIN, and his account features witty, insightful statements about Ireland, the world and everything.

Tobin says: “Dunno about you, but I see absolutely horrendous images every time Marty Morrissey says “wonderful stickwork” during a match. #gaa”

Cher @cher

Cher is on Twitter. And she doesn’t even need a surname on her Twitter handle. Amazing. Her Twitter account is what your Ma’s Twitter would be like if she knew what Twitter was (well, also if your Ma was into wearing sequinned leotards and feathered headdresses) – all caps and emoticons. Truly wonderful.


About the Author

Emma Kelly

Emma is currently masquerading as a super-cool Londoner that wears a lot of denim and listens to music you haven't heard of yet. However, the masquerade isn't really working, so she spends most of her time drinking tea and watching middle-aged cookery programmes.

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