14 of the Best Moments from Star Trek
Star Trek Into Darkness hits screens this week and it’s got us all hot under our proverbial collars. From TOS, TNG and DS9 (if you don’t get the acronyms you should probably back away now) all the way through to Voyager and Enterprise, Trek has given us some of our very favourite sci fi moments down through the years. It seemed only right to share them with you. You say ‘that’s a fucklot of Star Trek moments’, we say ‘list long and prosper’. BAHAHA. Classic.
14. The Borg Queen Dies
Star Trek Voyager’s Captain Janeway was a demon for ignoring the prime directive and getting in on some timeline-fucking-up action, so it’s only fitting that in series finale ‘Endgame’, she, well, ignores the prime directive and fucks with the timeline. The last episode of Voyager sees Admiral Janeway travelling back in time in an attempt to get Voyager’s crew home earlier and save crew lives. However, upstart Captain Janeway, or Kathryn The Younger as we like to call her, wants to use the future technology to seize the opportunity to take down the Borg, and we get this epic moment when the Borg Queen dies…
13. The Federation Commits Genocide
There’s a stunning moment in DS9 where it turns out that a secret organisation in the federation named Section 31 created the plague that killed the Changelings (i.e. Odo and the like), meaning that the Federation has essentially committed genocide. It’s notable for such moments as Julian Bashir finally being cool and features the reliably ‘ah sure jaysus’ attitude of Myles O’Brien, proving as he did so many times in DS9 that TNG’s transporter room bloke was ripe for Starfleet greatness.
12. The Trouble With Tribbles
Original Series classic ‘The Trouble With Tribbles’ was, by our estimation, the funniest episode of the series. Many years later, DS9 homage ‘Trials and Tribble-ations’ saw DS9 crew members travel back in time to the Enterprise and experience the event for themselves. (It was done using modern tech which inserted DS9 actors into old TOS footage. Slick.) It was nice because Ben Sisko is the most boring man alive and the Dominion the most yawnsome nemesis ever, so any break for LOLs has to be appreciated.
11. Sisko Thinks He’s a 20th Century Author
He’s a twentieth century boy… Remember how we literally just said Ben Sisko was one of the most boring men alive? Well, there was that time when shit got cray and he thought he was an author on Earth in the 20th century and had imaged DS9. Shits and giggles galore. We love when Trek addresses social issues from their future-perspective.
10. Tom Paris Turns Into A Lizard
Lieutenant Paris (always a toss up between himself and Chakotattooonhisface for ‘rideyest Voyager male’) gets it into his head that he wants to break Warp 10. Determined beyond belief, he eventually fulfills his aim, only to cause all manner of biological fuckery from the effect of travelling at such a speed. Cue Paris and Janeway regressing back into lizard people, engaging in some cheeky lizard sex and hoofing out some durty lizard babies. Meanwhile Voyager goes a bit Voyeur as Chakotay states ‘I don’t know how I’m going to enter this into the log’ while Tuvoc responds ‘I look forward to reading it’. Filth.
9. Garak Admits to Being An Addict
Did we mention we love when Trek takes on social issues? Oh we did? In this episode where Garak admits to Bashir that he’s addicted to a neural transmitter and can’t give it up even though it’s killing him, we see some of DS9′s most sharply observed character interaction. We may think Ben Sisko’s a bit of a wash but we have to admit that there really are some great character moments in federation outpost Deep Space 9.
8. Data Takes Over the Enterprise
Data’s a stone cold badass. Taking over the ship. Impersonating Captain Picard. Not to mention the cascading forcefield sequence rocks our frigging socks. You must watch this one.
7. Picard Does a Mind Meld
Those Vulcans and their mind melding, huh? Here, Jean Luc mind melds with Sarek and takes on his emotions. Patrick Stewart at his best, not to mention some Crusher/Picard action. “Beverly!” “I’m here Jean Luc, I’m not going anywhere.” Swoon.
6. Cry Havoc and Let Slip the Dogs of War
Is there anything more terrifying than a Klingon twirling around in his chair, cackling? Could there be anything cooler than William Shatner and Christopher Plummer sharing a scene? It’s Star Trek VI, baby…
5. Captain Sisko Hits Q
We can’t help loving Q. He’s a messer and a bit of a jerk but oh hell, he’s just fun. Remember when he wants to get Janeway knocked up? Remember when he sorta kinda sticks the Enterprise in the path of the Borg? Oh that Q! Here, he even knocks some shade of interesting out of Ben Sisko. (There we go, ragging on Ben Sisko again, for balance we ought acknowledge that some Rampers actually like him.)
4. Odyssey Encounters the Jem’Hadar
There’s a comment on the YouTube clip for this one which states: “A piece of shrapnel ripped off the nacell, what a poorly built class of starship”. This tickled us no end and made us imagine that the author was Fr Liam from Fr Ted. Shoddy, shoddy workmanship!
3. In the Pale Moonlight
I lied. I cheated. I bribed men to cover the crimes of other men.
Oh fine then. Sisko had his moments.
2. Q Gets His Powers Back
No serious we fucking love Q. And we love how annoyed he makes Picard. And we love how super awkward he makes Ryker. And we ADORE that he gives Data the gift of laughter. No Trek scene is more wonderful.
1. Picard Meets God
We mean if anyone gets to meet the maker.
“The universe is not so badly designed!” – oh, Jean Luc.