7 Common Words That We Can’t Even Cope With
A few weeks back, grumpy-but-deadly Dylan Moran performed to a packed out tent at Electric Picnic. Among the many things he said that struck a chord, he talked about how, these days, people are just kind of shit at talking. Where once stories would be related with descriptive words and a flow and rhythm from the teller, we now punctuate our chat with ‘So she was like, and I was like’ and a generally blah, bastardised way of relating ourselves.
With a huge dollop of regret for our vocal sins, here’s Ramp.ie’s 7 Common Words We Can’t Even Cope With…
Totes are umbrellas. Totes are bags. Totes is not, we repeat not, an acceptable abbreviation for the word ‘totally’. If we’re honest, even the word ‘totally’ has become overused and unbearable. Should you wish to be enthusiastic about something you’ll definitely attend or an opinion you absolutely agree with, might we recommend good old Irish phrases like ‘I’m well up for that’ or ‘Spot on’. Right?
Amazeballs is bad. Totes amazeballs really kills us. ‘Amazing’ is, if never usually employed accurately, a lovely word. Amazeballs? Sounds like somebody has inconceivably large testicles that would’ve had them in a travelling circus back in the day. Give it up ta fuck and use real English.
YOLO? YODO as well. You Only Die Once. And it’ll be very soon if you don’t stop wrecking our buzz with your bollocksology. Now there’s a word we should be hearing more of.
What, like, Attila the? Whatever about abbreviating the word ‘honey’, we just can’t get to grips with why ‘hun’ is any more difficult to type than ‘hon’. Hun is especially potent in terms of how much it hurts us when teamed with ‘hope you’re okay’, ‘xxx’ or ‘great pic’. *shudder*
So then I was like… and he was like. The original offender. Used like a piece of punctuation in modern sentences. Battered, bruised and bastardised beyond belief as regards how far it’s strayed from it’s original meaning and use. ‘Like’ has been taken prisoner by people who can’t communicate good. Give it back yiz pricks, those of us au fait with common usage need it for metaphors and Facebook statuses!
2. Nom Nom
Who are you, verbal Pacman? ‘Yum’ is perfectly serviceable, chump. Sort your shit out.
1. Just Sayin’
Nobody is ever, ever, just saying.