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17 (Sometimes Disturbingly) Impressive Homemade Halloween Costumes

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Posted October 22, 2013 by Sinéad Keogh in Ramp Lists
Rock Paper Scissors

The shockingly high incidence of Christmas decorations in the shops might have you believe that we’re currently sometime in the middle of December, but nope, we’re still making our way toward halloween, and in the Ramp Basement, trickin’ and treatin’ and twerkin’ and tweetin’ is serious business. While trying to think up our own legendary looks, we set aside some time to make a list of (sometimes disturbingly) impressive homemade halloween costumes for your scrolling, eye-widening pleasure.

Here we go.

17. Etch-A-Sketch Man

The tame end of the scale. We just thought this guy did a damn good job. Minus points for not being scary. But a hearty backslap for effort.

Etch-a-sketch-costume

16. A Big Pair of Tits

No you jerk bastard it’s not a Dolly Parton costume.

It’s actual giant tits.

Tits

15. Google Boobs

And while we’re on the subject of tits… we ain’t never seen THIS as the new Google Doodle.

It’s Google. But her boobs make the oo’s. HER BOOBS MAKE THE OO’s! It’s Boobgle!

We can’t even cope with the ingenuity.

Google Boobs

14. Doggie the Pooh!

Yeah, how dodgy is that title? Are you expecting to see pooch droppings? We wouldn’t do that to you. (Totally would, and you’ll see worse further on down the scroll.)

Look at him with his honey pot! Someone tell the boss we can’t come in today. We’re drowning in a pool of our own pet-loving tears.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

13. 3 Headed Dog

Okay just one more pet costume. Indulge us. Notice how we have not included any lame-o pictures of cats.

Plus, seriously, how creepy is 3 headed dog? From a distance he would look totes real, and you would totes shit yourself.

We bet if you cut one off another one appears.

3 Headed Dog

12. Rock, Paper, Scissors

Look, obviously they lose marks for not including the full legit list – rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock – but this is another costume that gets backslaps for effort. We’re not entirely sure why they needed the explainer headbands. How unobservant are their mates? Did they try the same costume a year previous only to leave disappointed to the sound of vague comments like “Is she The Notebook?” and “What’s that grey blob? Ryan Reynolds for the midsection of the movie?”

Rock Paper Scissors

11. Giraffe Girl

Somewhere, a broken-legged man is marooned in a chair, dying for a wee, wondering why he ever believed that Giraffe Girl would ‘definitely return’ his crutches just as soon as ever possible. But we don’t care about that. Look at her! Look at how she stitched giraffey patterns on her undercarriage! Snaps for you, giraffe girl.

Giraffe Girl

10. Subtle Baby

We are now entering the baby section of proceedings. Believe us when we say, the internet is awash with baby and birth-based costumes (What? Is there something scary about childbirth? LOL j/k of course there is. *crosses legs at the thought of vagina ripping*) and this is actually the least terrifying of them.

We like how subtle it is. We imagine her a party, mid-conversation with a man who says ‘So what did you dress up a…..OHMYGOD.’

Heh.

Subtle Baby

9. Your Baby Has Been Compromised

Well that’s not to leftover umbilical cord.

Also, award for most epic face to this kid.

Scary Baby

8. Zombaby

This kid appears to have ripped its way through it’s own mother’s stomach, but judging by his wee plastic expression he’s remarkably nonplussed about the whole affair.

Yup, we’ll put that in the scary pile.

Woman Giving Birth

7. Husbaby

Not even in our most craven yokel nightmares have we ever dreamed up the “I Gave Birth To My Own Husband” episode of Jerry Springer.

Listen up, husbaby, and listen good, there is only one circumstance in which your face is supposed to be this close to your missus’s vagina… and this ain’t it.

*shudder*

Scary Birth Man

6. That Poor Sheep

While we’re on the subject of craven.

Mmmf.

There are petrified baaaaaaa’s ringing in our ears.

That poor sheep. We’ve never seen anyone look so delighted to be committing bestiality.*

Sheep Fuck Guy

*Admittedly, we have never previously witnessed someone engaging in bestiality. We haven’t. Stop looking at us like that.

5. Banging Man

See now, this guy know’s who it’s appropriate to ride!

The cheeky arse cupping is well impressive too.

Banging Man

4. Gingerbread Man

He’s ginger. And he’s wearing bread. And he’s a man. Ginger. Bread. Man. Gingerbreadman. Gingerbreadmanroflbahahaha.

This is too excellent.

Dear Irish people, welcome to your next Halloween costume.

Gingerbread Man

3. Selfie Ghosts

What made us laugh *almost* as much as gingerbread dude? Only these ghosts taking selfies!

IT’S FUNNY COS GHOSTS DON’T EVEN SHOW UP ON PHOTOS!

Also, we now want them to do all manner of internety and hipster shit. Someone set up a tumblr for the ghosts and make them take photos of their dinners and twerk things. Pleaseeeeee?

Selfie Ghosts

 

2. Cartoon Face Girl

This is another one just made us impressed with the sheer effort. She cartooned her face!

When we put that much make-up on we just look like we’re trying to hide the signs of a left hook or get a job as a mime.

We are in awe of you, cartoon face girl.

Cartoon Face Girl

1. The Human Centipede

Reminds us of the film and makes us heave and want to run away. Well played human centipede girl, you are the scariest costume of them all.

Human Centipede


About the Author

Sinéad Keogh

Sinéad is a striking girl. Not attractive like, just prone to lashing out.

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