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The 14 Best Eurovision Entries

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Posted May 7, 2013 by Emma Kelly in Ramp Lists
eurovision

If you hadn’t noticed kids, it’s May, and that means only one thing- it’s nearly time for the bloody Eurovision! Whether you admit it or not, the Eurovision Song Contest has a special place in everybody’s hearts. You may like it because there’s always one country that manages to sneak in a offensive band name or song title (see last year’s Austrian entry ‘Trackshittaz’); or because we always give the English entry a maximum of six points when they give us twelve; or it’s the only competition other than GAA that we actually excel in. This year, the spiky heads of Jedward have been replaced by Ryan Dolan, Bonnie Tyler has tagged in for Engelbert Humperdinck, and Zlatan Ibrahmovic is for some reason part of the show’s opening segment. We’re not entirely sure Eurovision history will be made in 2013, but we’ll always have some absolute gems to look back on. So stop bitching to your Ma about how we’ll never win because of the Eastern bloc ganging up against us and take a trip down bonkers memory lane.

14. Domenico Modungo – Nel Blu Dipinto Di Blu

Yeah, we had no clue this was a Eurovision entry either. But back in 1958, Italy entered this little ditty. You probably know it by its unofficial title ‘Volaire!’ and it featuring on everything from Dean Martin albums to the soundtrack of the Lizzie McGuire Movie. (Don’t pretend you haven’t seen it.) Modungo only came third, but his song has had a much longer lasting impression.

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13. Brotherhood of Man – Save All Your Kisses for Me

Every song is improved tenfold when it has a dance to go with it. FACT. England won with this song in 1976, and made the whole of Europe go ‘awwww’ when the last line revealed they were singing about a three-year-old. Bless.

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12. Ruslana – Wild Dances

If every song improves tenfold by having an accompanying dance, it improves like… twentyfold when it looks like a musical version of Xena: Warrior Princess. If you can’t bring out the leather and the fire at the Eurovision, sure when can you? Ukraine won with this song in 2004, so there’s obviously a fair few people in the weird Venn diagram of Eurovision lovers/leather fetishists.

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11. Jedward – Waterline

OK, maybe not one of the most classic songs of all time, but god love the lads for trying. They had shiny suits, they jumped into a water fountain, THEY FLATTENED THEIR QUIFFS! If that isn’t dedication, we don’t know what is. Jedward were made for the Eurovision.

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10. Buranovskie Babushki – Party for Everybody

More commonly known as the Russian grannies. This is why the Eurovision is so brilliant. A bunch of Russian OAPS can have an aul boogie in front of millions of people, incorporate bread-baking into their routine, and come third.

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9. Dana – All Kinds of Everything

Notable for being the first step in Ireland’s domination of the Eurovision. Also notable for being the event that made it possible that we could have a would-be president who performed on a show that would, in the future, mark Blue’s comeback. Shudder.

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8. Bucks Fizz – Making Your Mind Up

Throw this on at any 40th and the place will be hopping. Just fingers crossed your great aunt and uncle don’t attempt the skirt-ripping routine. It can only end in tears and emotional scarring.

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7. Lordi – Hard Rock Hallelujah

For anyone who calls the Eurovision cheesy and pop-centric, remember that in 2006, Finland won with a heavy metal band with full face prosthetics. With enough pyrotechnics to rival a Rammstein gig, Lordi won by a landslide, and even won the praise of Terry Wogan. We knew he was a closet metal fan.

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6. Paul Harrington and Charlie McGettigan – Rock n Roll Kids

The year was 1994, and Ireland thought these lads had been chosen so Ireland wouldn’t win, proving that Father Ted is actually completely based on fact. Nevertheless, this lovely ballad that’s perfect for singing at the end of a drinking session won and continued Ireland’s reign as Eurovision overlords.

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5. Loreen – Euphoria

TUNE ALERT. This song was made for nights out. It’s like a dance track from the 90s, which we all know is the best kind of music. Plus, it’s fun to watch Loreen performing karate-esque dance moves when she definitely can’t see from under that fringe.

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4. Dana International – Diva

The Eurovision is not only great Saturday night TV, but is miles ahead of the game in terms of equality. In 1998, Dana International became the first (and so far, only) transgender artist to win the contest with this ridiculously catchy number. The entry was so controversial that she had to be escorted everywhere by police during the contest. But Dana International is badass, so she couldn’t care less. Haters gon’ hate.

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3. Johnny Logan – Hold Me Now

Johnny Logan should be on one of the Euro notes. He has won the contest three times for Ireland, and this is his best entry (obviously, because it was chosen for a McDonalds ad, you need to be of high quality for that honour).

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2. Lena – Satellite

2010 was the year Eurovision got cool again. Lena, an 18-year-old with an arm tattoo, won for Germany with her slightly mental voice and a perfect pop song. Lena’s so cool that she hasn’t even let being in the Eurovision twice affect her coolness. She’s THAT cool.

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1. ABBA – Waterloo

If there’s a reason for the Eurovision to stay around forever, it’s that it can produce classics like this. In 1974, four sparkly Swedes won the contest with this song, and thus introduced Europe and the world to the pop phenomenon that was ABBA. Try and think of a world without ABBA. No wait, don’t, it’s too upsetting. So thank you Eurovision. Thank you for giving us the chance to see Pierce Brosnan sound like a bag of cats being murdered on screen.

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About the Author

Emma Kelly

Emma is currently masquerading as a super-cool Londoner that wears a lot of denim and listens to music you haven't heard of yet. However, the masquerade isn't really working, so she spends most of her time drinking tea and watching middle-aged cookery programmes.

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