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Sure would you not have a small bit?

 

Ramp It Up/Stamp It Down: Friday, 22nd of February

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Posted February 22, 2013 by Lisa McInerney in Lifestyle

Ramp It Up!

Commander Hadfield

He tweeted from space. That’s awesome. He tweeted from space IN IRISH? Holy fuck, we’re impressed. Nearly makes us want to actually learn some. Commander Hadfield for Taoiseach! He certainly makes us feel better about ourselves than that Enda buachaill. (@Cmdr_Hadfield)

 

PC Peach

Despite his being a dog exempting him from paperwork, PC Peach was ordered by the Crown Prosecution Service on numerous occasions to file a witness statement after an arrest. So eventually he rolled up his hairy sleeves, said a big ‘grrrr!’ to excuses, and sent them what they’d asked for. PC Peach for Taoiseach! He certainly makes us feel better about ourselves than that Enda cur.

France

US company Titan were invited to take over a loss-making Goodyear tyre company in France. Titan’s outspoken CEO, Maurice Taylor, in unfortunately stereotypical American style, proceeded to scoff at the notion because French people ‘only work 3 hours a day’. It’s clear to most people that Taylor was talking out his stupide derrière, but we’re choosing to believe him. French people for Taoiseach! They certainly make us feel better about ourselves than that Enda imbecile.

 

Stamp It Down!

M.I.A

Strangely infuriating musician/visual artist/eejit M.I.A was very annoyed that the Grammys ceremony employed the use of neon squares when everyone knows that neon squares are exclusively the brainchild of M.I.A. Seriously, M.I.A., neon squares are shite. Put down that trumpet before you hurt yourself.

The tweet above has since been deleted, explaining how fugly it looks in our embed. Let this be a lesson to you, kids. Screencap everything.

People horrified by Hilary Mantel

The Booker Prize behemoth delivered a feminist deconstruction of Kate Middleton’s royal role. Tabloids gleefully took quotes out of context to manufacture a catfight to sell papers. Gobshites jumped on the bandwagon, bawled out a perplexed Mantel, and make arses out of half the British nation. You guys! You created the English language! Now learn to READ IT.

The Brit Awards

Lana Del Rey won Best International Female? Did we stumble into a time machine? If so, you guys need to stop worrying about the Mayan thing: it’s a damp squib.

 


About the Author

Lisa McInerney

Lisa’s soul is so damn sensitive, she has to invent and occupy parallel universes just to spread herself evenly. This is also known as being a frustrated novelist.

  • Niall Gosker

    Ah, I remember back in ’09 when Iron Maiden won Best Live Act and I thought the Brit Awards actually knew what they talking about.

    And now I see that One Direction have been nominated in the same category as Muse, The xx, and Alt-J. See ya credibility.

    • http://twitter.com/Sarklor Ciaran O’Brien

      Iron Maiden *are* freaking awesome live, though. Class act at the RDS when an amp blew and they stalled for time by playing the William Tell Overture on Bruce Dickenson’s face.

      • http://www.ramp.ie/ Lisa McInerney

        Iron Maiden? What are you guys, 40?

        • Niall Gosker

          LISA WHY YOU GOTTA HATE, MUSIC IS AGELESS!

        • http://twitter.com/Sarklor Ciaran O’Brien

          Have you seen Bruce Dickinson lately? You totally would.

      • Niall Gosker

        Yeah, I saw them in 2010 in The 02, they are magnificent.

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