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Sure would you not have a small bit?

 

Ramp It Up/Stamp It Down: Friday, 12th of April

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Posted April 12, 2013 by Lisa McInerney in Lifestyle

Ramp It Up!

The angry pensioner

An elderly rebel wrote to the Revenue telling them to stick their property tax, and quite blatantly threatened to go down in a blaze of glory, still clutching their charred carcasses, if they so much as look sideways at him from here on in. Hey, someone had to say it. We’re just embarrassed it had to be Granddad.

The James Joyce coin

A beautiful €10 coin commemorating Ireland’s greatest writer? Sure, what could go wrong? Well, a spot of editorial revenge, as it turns out, because the Joyce coin doesn’t display a direct quote from his notoriously tricksy portfolio. An extra ‘that’ has been added for clarity. Stupid novelists, think the rules of syntax don’t apply to them… *mutter, moan*

The woman selling her knickers

Boards.ie celebrated its most flabbergasting social welfare advice request yet when a member going by the name of Maeve80 (not as good as Joe90, but we’ll allow it) reported a run in with the dole office after officers noticed her sporadic income… from selling her used undies to olfactory perverts. Exactly the kind of entrepreneurial spirit Ireland needs, we think. We’re eBaying Bentley’s Frenchies as you read!

 

Stamp It Down!

The Savita enquiry

 

Depressing, upsetting and desperately sad.

 

Maggie Thatcher

Whatever way you shuffle off the mortal coil, we’ve concluded that you can consider it a life well lived if your coffin doesn’t require armed protection and no one’s throwing street parties at your death notice.

 

The mountain with the Virgin Mary on it

Dude. There’s more substance in a Guinness fart.


About the Author

Lisa McInerney

Lisa’s soul is so damn sensitive, she has to invent and occupy parallel universes just to spread herself evenly. This is also known as being a frustrated novelist.

  • http://twitter.com/Sarklor Ciaran O’Brien

    Don’t diss Granddad! He fought a war for you! Or possibly against you, it’s a long time ago and he can’t quite remember.

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