Lifestyle: Making The Best Of Temporarily Losing Your Other Half
When it comes down to it, plate-smashing and tears aside, having a fight (or, heaven forbid, going on ‘a break’) with your significant other doesn’t have to be entirely awful. Like everything in life, it has its upsides. For instance:
1) Reclaiming previously acquisitioned precious bed.
According to an American lady that was on the radio once, the average Irish couple share a bed that Americans would typically only deem suitable for a single-pringle. Now, whether or not that is due to a certain country’s affinity towards Krispy Kremes or they actually have a bit more cop on about how much space one needs to sleep in is yet to be decided. However, I have yet to meet a couple that doesn’t having at least one story in the ‘my significant other is crap to sleep next to’ pile. So, while this argumentative period is on-going, enjoy your space. You can even feel free to take to sleeping width-ways but hey – with no-one to tug blankets to the other side of the bed, do whatever you want!
Downside: Your chances are getting the ride are now severely diminished.
2) No longer having to pretend to like their cat
When one is in a relationship with another, a lot of time is spent trying to make the other person feel good about a whole manner of things and being a generally ‘nice person’. This extends to muttering approval about their pets (even when their pets are complete bastards who are most likely in training to kill the prime minister of Malaysia). Being a recognised ‘cat person’, I like cats as much as the next person and seriously appreciate the fact that the Internet is made mostly of cats. However some cats are just evil. In this case, the cat belongs to the Significant Other (SO). This cat is smart but biting is not an endearing quality in a cat. It’s just the way it is unfortunately. However, during this tumultuous period, console yourself with no longer having to spend time with the satanic, hair-covered beast that they foolishly dub “kitty”.
Downside: You’re a bad person, it’s just a kitten.
3) The above also applies to siblings, friends and parents should it need to.
Downside: Yip, you’re still a bad person.
4) Terrible tv.
Usually couples have heaps in common but often one’s viewing choice is a source of tension typically ended in one person depriving their loved one of their viewing choice and the other sitting through Tyra Banks while they have a sulk. Personally, I’ve endured many a Criminal Minds being interrupted with comments such as “the Internet doesn’t even do that” and “you can’t zoom in on a finger-print”. So with this newly-found “I can’t believe I’m not single” time – feel free to enjoy boxsets of the stuff. And then, treat yourself – go watch the extra features. Oh yes. Behind-the-scenes, deleted clips and interviews with the cast.
Downside: Your brain is now turning to mush; goo-ey, mank mush and you really can’t zoom in on a finger-print.
5) Reclaiming the car radio.
Much akin to the endless debates over what to watch on television, the car radio is also subject to argument. Maybe your SO is dismissive of your passionate love of musicals and finds Les Miserables to be a disconcerting soundtrack to have on the drive to town but never fear, you’re now free to recover your authority over the car radio; change the pre-set radio stations and fill the CD holder with your top 10 CDs.
Downside: let’s be honest; the radio/CD player will not provide cups of tea, kisses or respond well to your terrible jokes.