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Ramp Specials

Sweary’s Jaw: The Democratisation Of Celebrity Arrives … Slowly.

The fact that celebrity can now be gained, however fleetingly, without a squad of professional media manipulators on the payroll is both refreshing and disturbing.


Do Over: Mortal Kombat 3

The only way you could pull an all-nighter from MK3 these days is if you unexpectedly slipped into a coma mid-match.

Retro Gaming 017

Do Over: Gauntlet

The curiously compelling Gauntlet. still imbues the gamer with an obligation to clear the board of legions of indistinguishable blobs ... very much the same instinct that keeps James Dyson in business.


Do Over: Big

Big. Tom Hanks. Underlying hints at paedophilia. Scary men who live in machines. I give it 10/10.


Do Over: Paperboy

Today’s games require that your character shoot secondary weapons whilst strafing, levelling-up, drinking a potion and changing his shoes. Paperboy just requires you to throw papers whilst avoiding fences.


Do Over: Beauty and the Beast

Belle is a brilliant heroine – just the Disney princess to reconcile your adult conscience with your childhood naivety. Belle, unlike her Disney sisters, isn’t a whingey, drippy bint.


Do Over: Lady and The Tramp

Is Lady & the Tramp really just a heart-warming tale about a dog who feels abandoned after her owners pop a sprog, until Tramp tramps in to teach her about the streets and spaghetti?

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